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Lone Parents
#11
Thanks, dudette! :thumbs:

Doudoucats, I understand what you mean. Some of the roughest times have been when I've been ill with flu or a migrane but there's nobody else around to help so I just have to continue as normal.

The HUGE plus, though, is the incredible bond that my son & I have. Big Grin
>>~V~ę~ñ~ů~Ş~<<
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#12
DouDou... I'm sure you have done an excellent job as is Venus doing. I'm fortunate in that I have my parents so very close by and they are both so involved with Connor... it's almost like he has three parents!

I do get concerned about a lack of male influence in his life BUT am glad that it's not his dad influencing his life.. I know without a shadow of a doubt, I would have a totally different child who is at the moment, very self aware, very confident and not afraid to speak his mind. Rolleyes I know this would not be the case otherwise. And now that we are so involved in the football (I am a secretary of a local club) Connor has about 15 'uncles' who throw him in the air, make sure he is happy etc. He has bonded with one of them so much, a lad from Angola who misses his little brother so much.

Dudette, my mom says she felt the same when I was growing up, my dad was often working away - sometimes for weeks/months at a time. I sometimes wonder how on earth she did it... get me fed and watered and all before 8 'o clock (when she only got home around 5pm!).
In love there are two things - bodies and words.
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#13
Ladies.....

i take my hat off to all of u...you have done superbly well, i admire your ability to try and make it work and i am sure your children will one day thank you for all your hard work in raising them...:thumbs:

i find it hard enough dealing with a child with problems -- never mind doing it all alone......

A BIG HUG TO ALL U SINGLE LADIES OUT THERE........

:hug: :hug:
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#14
Quote:Originally posted by Icecub
Ladies.....

i take my hat off to all of u...you have done superbly well, i admire your ability to try and make it work and i am sure your children will one day thank you for all your hard work in raising them...:thumbs:

i find it hard enough dealing with a child with problems -- never mind doing it all alone......

A BIG HUG TO ALL U SINGLE LADIES OUT THERE........

:hug: :hug:

herm herm (Zulu clears throat)
Never say never
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#15
Quote:Originally posted by Zulu_Foxtrot
herm herm (Zulu clears throat)

OK, OK, there are a few men too Big Grin

I have sole custody for my 12 year old son, and have raised him solo for most of his life. He has not had contact with his dad for 10 years now, and being a teenager is starting to ask questions. He is so similar to his father. I have shown him photographs of the man, and told him all about the good characteristics the man has.

As a young boy, he often yearned to have a dad like other boys. He has had plenty of role model subtitutes, but I must say things change when they become teenagers.

We are now at a crossroad, in that I think it may be a good idea for him to make contact with his father. (Just to sooth his curiosity, and perhaps to see if the man has some feelings for my son.)

Problem being, is the man is a total alcoholic, and I would not wish my son to feel rejected if the guy is in a drunken stupor. What now?
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#16
Quote:Originally posted by Zulu_Foxtrot
herm herm (Zulu clears throat)




Z_F, you are doing a superb job too! Big Grin There are quite a few lone dads on the Lone Parent forums, although there don't seem to be many who have sole care of their kids the way you do.
>>~V~ę~ñ~ů~Ş~<<
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#17
Hi, MissQToe! How are you? Smile Do you still have contact with your son's dad? Is there any chance that he could've gone into recovery? Even if he hasn't, it may still be a good idea for your son to make contact. Although it may be difficult, at least it will answer any questions he has in his mind. Have you balanced the good points of his dad with a few milder bad points?

I honestly don't know what I'll do if my son ever wants to make contact with his dad. That's quite a scarey thought! Sad
>>~V~ę~ñ~ů~Ş~<<
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#18
Quote:Originally posted by MissQtoe
OK, OK, there are a few men too Big Grin

I have sole custody for my 12 year old son, and have raised him solo for most of his life. He has not had contact with his dad for 10 years now, and being a teenager is starting to ask questions. He is so similar to his father. I have shown him photographs of the man, and told him all about the good characteristics the man has.

As a young boy, he often yearned to have a dad like other boys. He has had plenty of role model subtitutes, but I must say things change when they become teenagers.

We are now at a crossroad, in that I think it may be a good idea for him to make contact with his father. (Just to sooth his curiosity, and perhaps to see if the man has some feelings for my son.)

Problem being, is the man is a total alcoholic, and I would not wish my son to feel rejected if the guy is in a drunken stupor. What now?


Thanks, (but I was just clearing my throat) anyhow I digress, it would be a good idea for your son to see his father sooner rather than later, I am in a similar predicament but with the children's mother.

In all the research I have done and in all the people I have spoken to it is far better for the child when entering adulthood to ask and see for themselves why the errant parent left, I know it is hard for you (but that is why they do not allow people in the UK to own guns) so bite your tongue have faith in your son and let him find out for himself - might be a good idea though to have a third party present (like a big burly policeman)
Never say never
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#19
Quote:Originally posted by Zulu_Foxtrot
Thanks, (but I was just clearing my throat) anyhow I digress, it would be a good idea for your son to see his father sooner rather than later, I am in a similar predicament but with the children's mother.

In all the research I have done and in all the people I have spoken to it is far better for the child when entering adulthood to ask and see for themselves why the errant parent left, I know it is hard for you (but that is why they do not allow people in the UK to own guns) so bite your tongue have faith in your son and let him find out for himself - might be a good idea though to have a third party present (like a big burly policeman)




I love your comment about guns! :rofl: I can't say that I've not imagined using one! :mad:

I think the presence of a third part is an excellent idea. I'd certainly insist on someone being with my son if he was to see his dad. The bigger & burlier the man, the better! Big Grin
>>~V~ę~ñ~ů~Ş~<<
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#20
Quote:Originally posted by Venus
I love your comment about guns! :rofl: I can't say that I've not imagined using one! :mad:

I think the presence of a third part is an excellent idea. I'd certainly insist on someone being with my son if he was to see his dad. The bigger & burlier the man, the better! Big Grin

..but won't Mr Pic mind, sorry picinin - did I mention I am a cowardBig Grin
Never say never
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