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Hi all
Bit of a situation with my eldest - turning 16 tomorrow...
He has owned up to stealing money from my savings account (thought I had lost my ATM card) for the past year. Had he not been greedy I would never have noticed the odd £10 but he chose to take £100 at a time in the last two months and that was what bust him.
Anyway - major remourse but now I am stuck with what to do for his birthday tomorrow. Initially I had intended buying him a snazzy camera but I wont now. Do I buy him anything or do I allow him to have a day off his grounding period? HELP - the money situation is all resolved and the reason for stealing was pure oportunistic.
I am still quite angry with him and don't really feel I should be presured into buying him something simply because he is turning 16... any suggestions?:anyone:
To regret past mistakes is to live them over again....... move on and live your life without regret!
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Phew - Tough one there.
Day off grounding seems pretty cool.
It's how you feel at the end of the day. If you are feeling that you are being pressurised into buying him something then don't do it.
On the other hand a small gift (not a lot of money) might be an idea. An I-tunes voucher or some such.
To give hime something large - expense wise might be seen as coming across as a "reward" for stealing.
Then again I could be talking absolute tosh - mines only 7.
Good luck
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Hi Spacegirl
Sorry this happened to you. Must be so disappointing for you!
Even though you are still angry with him - I think speaking out forgiveness to him would be a great gift. It would help both of you at the end. I think this is pretty serious stuff and I don't think he should know that what he did is pretty serious! This would not just help him for now - but would help him to live tomorrow and be a man of integrity! Of course there should be a birthday cake.
Happy Birthday Spacegirl's son!!!
:jive:
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Happy birthday to your son.
I would treat the stealing and birthday as 2 seperate issues and have him understand that.
Also the money stolen - opportunistic or not, must be paid back in full plus interest, plus any other punishment you think fit. Its best to nip this kind of behaviour in the bud - no way must he think he can get away with it and/or even think of trying it again. (In other words the punishment should/could be servere enough for him not to think it worth doing again - as make sure he understands that next time the punishment will be even worse)
Do enjoy his birthday and make sure he knows you love him, but under no circumstances condone his behaviour.
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sooibrand Wrote:Happy birthday to your son.
I would treat the stealing and birthday as 2 seperate issues and have him understand that.
Also the money stolen - opportunistic or not, must be paid back in full plus interest, plus any other punishment you think fit. Its best to nip this kind of behaviour in the bud - no way must he think he can get away with it and/or even think of trying it again. (In other words the punishment should/could be servere enough for him not to think it worth doing again - as make sure he understands that next time the punishment will be even worse)
Do enjoy his birthday and make sure he knows you love him, but under no circumstances condone his behaviour.
I think Sooibrand is making sense. If the victim of his stealing was a third party, I suspect you would perhaps have still celebrated his 16th birthday in the way you intended, so I think sooibrand's way of dealing with is good.
And also forgiveness is a great gift.
Wishing you all of the best in this difficult situation1
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Thanks All for the support... today has been very tough as have the last couple of days... just learnt my uncle passed away in SA and then had my ex mother in law on the phone (apparently on oxygen so near death - again)... the ex and his family are full of lies most of the time so its a bit like cry wolf.
They do not communicate with the boys as most will know - but now she called to ask if she could call tomorrow - I think she is going for the sympathy vote and lucky for her I said yes as I just do not have the strength to argue...
Oh and yes - off to buy a small gift and card. Will bake a cake too. thanks again for the suggestions. Hope you all enjoy the SUN in the UK while it lasts! ;-)
To regret past mistakes is to live them over again....... move on and live your life without regret!
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Thinking of you - take care
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[COLOR="Purple"]Hi Spacegirl.... was just wondering how it turned out with your son. This must not have been easy for you.
:daisy:[/COLOR]
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Pronkertjie Wrote:[COLOR="Purple"]Hi Spacegirl.... was just wondering how it turned out with your son. This must not have been easy for you.
:daisy:[/COLOR]
Cheers - well, he is still grounded and as it turns out is quite sorry... especially yesterday when we enrolled him for college and had to fork out £260 for fees and materials... I said to him he couldnt have chosen a worse time to steal money!!! grrrr - kids!
To regret past mistakes is to live them over again....... move on and live your life without regret!
