That's funny, I've never seen a single photograph of a ship in action in the skies over Britain in 1940!

Difficult to win a battle in which you never fought, I would have thought!

Technical Support: Yes, .. how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error -Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Cyprus was indeed very hot last week....sjoe...i dunno how those ppl live in that extreme heat... :yikes:

For those who missed it

Frasier's Eddie Dies.

Moose, the Jack Russell terrier who played Eddie for over a decade on the TV series FRASIER, has died. He was 16-and-a-half (115 in dog years).

Moose died on Thursday night (22JUN06) of old age at his home near Los Angeles, according to his trainer MATHILDE HALBERG.

She tells American People magazine, "He just had an incredible charisma and was such a free spirit."

Halberg rescued Moose from a dog pound in the early 1990s and soon discovered he was a natural actor. :rip:

:am:

Enjoy your day and the long weekend! This means the others will be back soon.

:jive:

Nearly two million computer battery packs have been recalled by Apple after some devices overheated injuring users.

The recall is the second biggest in history involving consumer electronics after a recall by Dell of more than four million of the same lithium-ion batteries last week.

After the Dell recall, consumer safety watchdogs in the United States said it was investigating whether Sony, which makes the batteries, had supplied them to other companies.

The US Consumer Product Safety Commission said today that the recall affects rechargeable, lithium-ion batteries with cells made by Sony Energy Devices, a subsidiary of the Sony Corporation.

Read more....

:bashpc:

This holiday I picked up "The Big Over Easy"by the above-mentioned author and was intrigued at the blurb ...

'It looks like he died from injuries sustained during a fall...'
Bestselling author Jasper Fforde begins an effervescent new series. It's Easter in Reading - a bad time for eggs - and no one can remember the last sunny day. Humpty Dumpty, well-known nursery favourite, large egg, ex-convict and former millionaire philanthropist, is found shattered beneath a wall in a shabby area of town. Following the pathologist's careful reconstruction of Humpty's shell, Detective Inspector Jack Spratt and his Sergeant, Mary Mary, are soon grappling with a sinister plot involving cross-border money laundering, the illegal Bearnaise sauce market, corporate politics and the cut and thrust world of international Chiropody. As Jack and Mary stumble around the streets of Reading in Jack's Lime Green Austin Allegro, the clues pile up, but Jack has his own problems to deal with. And on top of everything else, the JellyMan is coming to town...



The story took a little getting into, but I found the story interesting and while not side-splittingly funny, was entertaining. does anyone else like this writer?
I've bought a book from his Thursday Next series, just to check if he's for me or not...

:am:

Greetings from an overcast Hertfordshire....

Wonder if that means the :chef: will get back into bed with a book again!

Hope everyone that is away is having a great time....

Blessings all

:jive:

LIFE WITH...... Mars and Venus

Being a man, I've never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differs so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????! ! ! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear.” You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough. for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her weÂ’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck! I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,honey".

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT??? ! ! ! "

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman. " And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the THINGS that I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...:confused: :bigcry: :wall:

What a talent ... click the first link to hear her

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FujfEoNbb...ed&search=

and then go to the other links if you want to hear more about her

Where it says: America's Got Talent, Taylor Ware, Finale show

is another variation

quite exceptional ... and she is only 11


:gogirl: