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+---- Thread: My Beloved Pet ... (/Thread-My-Beloved-Pet)
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My Beloved Pet ... - Toktokkie - 01-06-2005
Since there have been no posts in this forum for a month, I thought I'd post this one here.
My Beloved Pet,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me first, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To return the kindness of your obedience, my dear pet, I have posted the following on our front door so visitors to our home know the rules:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy and walk on all fours. Although they don't speak clearly, they communicate extremely well, especially my cat.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!
My Beloved Pet ... - lols - 01-06-2005
Thats is just brillant!!!
My Beloved Pet ... - mcamp999 - 01-06-2005
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
My Beloved Pet ... - Jangar - 01-06-2005
:crylol::crylol::crylol::crylol::crylol::crylol:
Excellent !!!!!
Excellent !!!!!
My Beloved Pet ... - mcamp999 - 01-06-2005
Someone knows my dog anyway!!
My Beloved Pet ... - Joan - 01-06-2005
Great Toktokkie!
:thumbs:
My Beloved Pet ... - penelope - 01-06-2005
This was brilliant.......doesn't apply to my dog though :noway:
My Beloved Pet ... - Almitra - 02-06-2005
This is great !!!!
Gonna print it out and frame it, right next to the front door .......... :mmm:
:rofl:
My Beloved Pet ... - Bean of Love - 02-06-2005
This is really funny!
Im gonna get a dog now!
My Beloved Pet ... - Venus - 02-06-2005
I love it! :thumbs: :haha: