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+--- Thread: One step too far (/Thread-One-step-too-far)
One step too far - gwasi - 05-10-2006
As some of you are aware I've been having some trouble with a work colleague and her racist comments about all who are not Welsh. She has taken it a step too far and I'm at a loss for words, everything.
She has become bitter about the promotion i got but i have kept my head down and ducked everytime she was in a bad mood. Was not going to let her get to me.
Last night my partner came in after being blasted from his ex. Rumours have been doing the rounds about how i hate my Step daughter and don't want her at the house and resent her.None of which is true. I do love her and its her mother that rarely has her. When asked who said these things partner was told. Am shocked that someone can do this, its not work that is being interfered with but homelife. I have sat here today and said nothing. I don't want to say a anything, it'll get twisted and passed on to the ex. I live 20 miles from the ex but its like a small village - full of imbreds and everyone knows everyone. I want to leave. I really want to leave. Just go. Partner does not want to rock the boat so the abuse is hurled. I don't want to take it anymore. I want to take this :curse: and throttle her, very slowly. As for the ex she is so narrow minded that she believes all that is told and as i've been told i am wrong as I am an outsider. The truth has been told and even though i and partner know the truth I just want out. Move out and away from this place and go somewhere where i can be anonymous and not have to worry who is watching and who is a bunny boiler. I just want my life back.
If I go then i will have to go alone as partner will not leave his daughter - not that i expect him to. its not an easy choice to make
One step too far - Cheffie - 05-10-2006
Bring your step-daughter in to work one day and get her to go to the offending colleague and ask her what the issues are with intruding on her personal homelife?
Gwasi.. to sit back and say nothing would be remiss. To do something overt would be potentially destructive.
Perhaps invite this person over to your house, whilst your step-daughter is there.. that way she is on your territory.
Get your partner to collect his ex.. and then clear the air on your territory.
Best of luck
One step too far - gwasi - 05-10-2006
Cheffie Wrote:Bring your step-daughter in to work one day and get her to go to the offending colleague and ask her what the issues are with intruding on her personal homelife?
Gwasi.. to sit back and say nothing would be remiss. To do something overt would be potentially destructive.
Perhaps invite this person over to your house, whilst your step-daughter is there.. that way she is on your territory.
Get your partner to collect his ex.. and then clear the air on your territory.
Best of luck
Would love to but not going to happen. Ex and I do not get on. As for the rumour mongerer she takes a days leave to go 15 miles up the line shopping, so she won't be at the house. Will have a talk tonight and see what happens
One step too far - Pronkertjie - 05-10-2006
Sterkte gwasi....
You don't have to defend or explain yourself.... you know it is not true. Don't act quickly and give them more fuel to gossip. Talk it through with your partner and that is the most important thing.
With the lady at work - keep your head up! You deserved the promotion by the sound of it. It is not what is happening to us in life, but how we react that is important. It is difficult I know but at the end of the day it is their responsibility. There is a saying that "hurting people hurt people" and that is obviously what they are trying to achieve.
Walk the road of forgiveness gwasi - keep on forgiving until it doesn't hurt anymore and at the end of the day you will be the winner!
:hugs:
One step too far - Venus - 05-10-2006
How awful that your work life & personal life are so entangled with the same horrid people! :eek: Shame, gwasi! :hug: I can't blame you for wanting out. I think I'd be the same. I suppose you need to weigh up how valuable your relationship with your partner is to you. Do you want to lose him because of other people's spite?
One step too far - gwasi - 27-10-2006
Pronkertjie Wrote:
Walk the road of forgiveness gwasi - keep on forgiving until it doesn't hurt anymore and at the end of the day you will be the winner!
:hugs:
I wish that was true, but forgiving is not easy and not part of my nature.
Work has been getting a lot worse with 'madam' ignoring me with the occassional " :curse: foreigner" bandied about and the new "my glamourous assistant" when talking about me. The silence is deafening, and when she has to talk its argumentative. I don't rise to the bait, i nod, smile and basically chew my cheek to shreds to stop myself from saying something nasty. (like the truth). I go home depressed and hate getting up in the morning, not wanting to come in. My partners ex knows everything, what I do at work, when I go on my breaks, who I talk to. Its got to the stage where i don't even want to talk to my neighbours incase things get passed back. Which is silly as no-one there knows ex, but thanks to one person my trust in this nation has taken a hit.
I don't know anymore, is this really worth it. You think when you leave school things like this stop but they don't. I don't know how to handle it as i've never experienced it before. Have appraisal coming up and will mention it but as madam and bosses are good buddies doubt if anything will happen.
One step too far - Cheffie - 28-10-2006
Change countries again :thumbs:
Move to England
At least there is the chance of not being understood or the mountains/ hills/ mounds of earth not being so divisive..
We also have a problem with curtain-twitchers. Must be a national event..
Then again you can spend an evening with a chef and learn some vocab that would make your boss/ curtain-twitcher/ problem-child sit up and take note. Bring a whisk. It works..
One step too far - Venus - 29-10-2006
What is your partner's view on all this? Is he supporting you? If not, then I think you know that you need to take care of yourself & get out. There's a whole other world out there where abuse is not tolerated. :hugs:
PS: If you insist on staying & your boss refuses to help, perhaps you could consider seeking legal advice? Click here for a link to Bully Online's website where you can get further advice.
One step too far - gwasi - 29-10-2006
Thanks Venus, I' ve had a quick look at the sight, will take a good look at it later. Partner understands and would like me to leave the place but I can't just go, have to have a place to go to.
I think that the attitude of the few spoil it for the rest. Most Welsh are great, it just seems to be the ones here that are pretty bad.
I'm feeling better today but that has more to do with the fact i am not going to work for the next two days.
When madam is off work the whole office is happier, the lads are not so jumpy, nobody has to act like they are walking on egg shells, and I'm included. When shes in the lads are cowering (she loves to yell) and no-one talks to me. When I ask one of the lads to do something - she says something in welsh and the lad turns his back on me. I don't know, she's away next week for 10 days and I cannot wait. happy happy.
Even happier whn i pass me test then i can be outta there (booked for 22nd november) 2nd time lucky.
One step too far - Cheffie - 30-10-2006
Have you considered learning Welsh on the quiet and then in a few months time answer her back in Welsh? :mmm: