Schools

[Cali]

When a child is having problems at a school, and these problems seem to rear their heads every school year. Do you think the option of changing schools is a good one?

I only changed schools once in the middle of a school year and that was when I was 16 and moved towns, so I have very little experience in what the pro's and con's would be if you were say nearly seven in age. :dazed:

The problem i'm talking about is bullying. the children are taught that if they are picked on to go find a teacher and report it. This my son does, however it seems this is making the situation much worse. The child who is doing all this is a traveller child (one of 17 children in the family! :eek: And this problem was a big problem a year ago, then the family went on their 'travels' and it all stopped. Now I have this child strangling my child, punching him etc and when he reports it, he gets told to stop whinging (by teachers), and gets called names by his class mates (crybaby, tattletale etc).

I phoned the school today and yes they are aware of the problems caused by this family BUT didn't see fit to tell me!

I'm sick to death of this problem and although really like most of the school - the children in it and their parents are really bringing me down.

Do you think at this point, a change in schools would benefit my child, or is bullying everywhere??

[dudette]

Cali, I'm sorry to hear your son is having to go through this. Bullying in any form should never be tolerated, and it seems he is really being harshly treated. Assuming you've already approached his teacher and headteacher and got no response, I suggest you should make one last go of it and perhaps approach the school board, or perhaps if you seek the advice of the school nurse - they would at least be able to point you in the right direction of where to find help.
As an outsider (not having gone through such a situation myself personally) I would think that the best would be for your son's self-esteem to somehow see the situation dealt with, either by getting them to stop, himself (have you considered self-defense/karate lessons?) and t o know those people do not in fact have power over him after all.

But only you will know how far it has gone, and if you genuinely believe that there is nothing further you can do to help, then I would definitely move my son out of there. He is only 7, and the move won't be that disruptive to his school year.
There is bullying everywhere, but how schools deal with it is crucial, and if your son is in a school where they refuse to acknowledge there is a problem, you're going to have an uphill battle.
I hope you can get this sorted, Cali. Please let us know how it's going.

[suep]

I really hate bullies :mad:

I agree with what dudette has said....although I would be up that school and demanding to know what they intended to do about it..........

every school has these anti-bullying policies...but they arent worth the paper they are written on if the schools wont admit that there is a problem......

It is heart breaking to see a child go through this...and like dudette said...if you cant resolve it through all the proper chanels then yes I would take my child out of the school.

Hope you get it sorted Cali...best of luck to you

[Jangar]

Originally posted by dudette
There is bullying everywhere, but how schools deal with it is crucial, and if your son is in a school where they refuse to acknowledge there is a problem, you're going to have an uphill battle.

At the moment here in Denmark, demonstrations seem to be very effective so perhaps you and other parents with the same problem should organise one to make the school board take note...

Failing that I can suggest getting a bodyguard for your son for a few weeks (I think we'll find a few volunteers on the boards ) and soon after that I am sure that the bullying will stop and your son will be held in high esteem as he is able to get have body guard of his own :p

I was never bullied or a bully so I cannot really offer advice other than to get the school board / authorities involved and encourage everyone else to do so, so as to make them aware of the problem...

[Cali]

THank you Dudette, Sue and Jangar.

What annoys me so much is that this is a really good school attended by some really awful people!

There was an incident with this same bully and another which ended up in my son in hospital (this was when he was going into year one - now in year two) as he had had a punch to the stomach.

The hospital HAD to notify the school boards etc and it was 'kind of' dealt with at the time. The one child is part of those travelling families and they had left the area so basically it was all pinned on him. And after two other parents complained about the other child, a stern word was spoken to his parents. The trouble is, it's a close knit community - so parents are scared of standing up too much for fear of retribution (i.e a smashed door etc).

And to be honest, I'm not scared, I live far away from that estate not to be bothered but it's making me feel that I'm failing my son by telling him to not punch/kick back as nothing is being done.

Have got an interview with the principal tomorrow - went to the doctor today and we told him all about it and he now has to make a note etc. So I've gone through the right channels and if nothing satisfactory is done, then I shall have to think about finding another school.

[Jangar]

Originally posted by Cali
THank you Dudette, Sue and Jangar.

What annoys me so much is that this is a really good school attended by some really awful people!

There was an incident with this same bully and another which ended up in my son in hospital (this was when he was going into year one - now in year two) as he had had a punch to the stomach.

The hospital HAD to notify the school boards etc and it was 'kind of' dealt with at the time. The one child is part of those travelling families and they had left the area so basically it was all pinned on him. And after two other parents complained about the other child, a stern word was spoken to his parents. The trouble is, it's a close knit community - so parents are scared of standing up too much for fear of retribution (i.e a smashed door etc).

And to be honest, I'm not scared, I live far away from that estate not to be bothered but it's making me feel that I'm failing my son by telling him to not punch/kick back as nothing is being done.

Have got an interview with the principal tomorrow - went to the doctor today and we told him all about it and he now has to make a note etc. So I've gone through the right channels and if nothing satisfactory is done, then I shall have to think about finding another school.

So sad that you have to resort to thinking about changing schools.. :mad:

I am in a violent mood tonight so I say fight violence with violence even though it goes very much against my grain... get your son to learn top level karate as well as wrestling in a few weeks if possible (if not which I think is the case, he may make some some very experienced friends :p )

It seems as if you're not alone in this matter... Find out out how many you are... "United we Stand !!!"

Unite against the school and / or school board !!!

And if nothing works, do it SA style... incite the students to burn down the school :jester: J/K

[Cali]

lol Thanks Jangar for the giggle.

Have to confess that tonight, I sat down with my son and gave him a few pointers (grandad gave him a few yesterday as well) - sneaky girly ones that won't get him into trouble! He's not big on deviousness so gets caught when/if he is naughty.

Off to bed now, sleep well!

[Oom Rob]

Cali I am really furious that little man is having to endure this bullying - if the school is aware of the problem then they should have taken the appropriate action in the past and when the child returned not let him back!! You get good Headteachers and bad ones just as you get strong ones and weak ones, but in many many cases it is whether the Board of governors of the school is strong enough. It is no good having a strong Headteacher and a good Bullying Policy in the School only for the BOG not to back the teaching staff.

You have to take the no nonsense approach to this as you are fighting your little one's corner. I know from past experience and from the wife's experience when she was a school governor all those years, that schools do not like it when a parent starts to involve their MP or even better by taking the matter direct to the Secretary for Education. Schools hate to be investigated themselves - use all the means possible to get justice for your son.

Good luck and will be holding thumbs that all goes well.

[tokoloshie]

Cali

The best you can do is tell the head that if your son and others keep on getting bullied ( and ask the other parents if they are going through the same) you would like to meet with the school governors (and try to get other parents involved) go to the meeting prepared with the school policy on bullying and the national policy ask why the policy is not been followed, also let them know that if it continues you will hold the school responsible for any injury and will report and open a case of assault against the school if they fail to protect your son at school, after all it is the school who have to protect our children at school and provide them with a safe enviroment, if they can not do this they are failing in there promise of a safe enviroment for all children regardless of race or religion.It then becomes a criminal case.

Hope this helps.

Toks

If all fails let me know and I'll show your son how to take care of these low lifes...

[Cali]

Well, i saw the principal yesterday and he had a host of plans up his sleeve. Told about the doctor video taping the lot. Told him I would give him TWO weeks to sort out the problem and then I would be taking it further. the stuff he hinted about this child...well it really makes me wonder - this child has a support worker, only has to do minimal work etc. Seems the naughty ones, or the problem ones get 'rewarded' far more than the polite, well mannered children.

But since the incident, i have had parents phoning me saying x,y and z has happened to their children. So it looks like we are forming some kind of group.

Also found out via an ex trainee teacher from the school that although this school does really well in all the reports, they also get the most funding as they have the most support workers needed/most problem children. :/