Manners and eating

[dudette]

Imagine this scenario - you and your children are invited to a friend's house for a meal and it transpires that on the plate is :eek: horror of horrors, potatoes, which one of your children absolutely detests!
Do you think it is acceptable that your child tells your host politely that he does not like potatoes and leaves them uneaten on his plate, or do you think it is better manners for your child to eat up, even though they hate it?
For the purpose of discussion, say this child is 11 or under.

[Pronkertjie]

Originally posted by dudette
Imagine this scenario - you and your children are invited to a friend's house for a meal and it transpires that on the plate is :eek: horror of horrors, potatoes, which one of your children absolutely detests!
Do you think it is acceptable that your child tells your host politely that he does not like potatoes and leaves them uneaten on his plate, or do you think it is better manners for your child to eat up, even though they hate it?
For the purpose of discussion, say this child is 11 or under.

I think that it is very good to teach your children to say "no thank you" in a polite way. (I'm sure he won't save anyone in Africa's life if he doesn't)

I would hate for a mother to make a scene at my dinner table and force her child to eat what he doesn't like. If the hostess has her act together she will make a note of it and make sure she doesn't serve potatoes to him again.

On the other hand.... if child sits there and performs with bad body language and moan about the potatoes as if it is going to poison him.... I will not be so happy about that either.... specially if he is a little older.

That is just my :2cents: worth...

:lovef:

[Jangar]

Originally posted by dudette
Imagine this scenario - you and your children are invited to a friend's house for a meal and it transpires that on the plate is :eek: horror of horrors, potatoes, which one of your children absolutely detests!
Do you think it is acceptable that your child tells your host politely that he does not like potatoes and leaves them uneaten on his plate, or do you think it is better manners for your child to eat up, even though they hate it?
For the purpose of discussion, say this child is 11 or under.

Yes and no

[Joan]

dudette, my personal opinion is that the hostess should not dish up before asking the mother ..........

I have never believed in forcing a child to eat anything they did not like, some child acquire a taste for certain foods at a later stage in life.

If the child politely says he/she does not really like potatoes, then so be it.

Perhaps the mother should tell the hostess ...........

It is difficult for a child..:chef:

[dudette]

Thanks for your replies.
Children do have a difficult time, don't they?

[Pronkertjie]

Originally posted by dudette
Thanks for your replies.
Children do have a difficult time, don't they?

what do you think Dudette?

It is true what Joan said about the hostess should ask.... but then, not many people do that.

[dudette]

I think I come from a background where we did eat all our food or we went hungry - we weren't given the luxury of being able to pick and choose what we liked or not. I'm sure my parents did choose meals with us in mind, but we did have to eat what was given to us.
I think it is bad manners to leave your food that your host/hostess has specially spent time and effort to prepare for you, and so would like to teach my children consideration for other people's feelings.
But saying that, I think you are right - a polite "No, thank you" is sufficient for children, who are notoriously fussy! A good hostess would have planned for that and have an alternative for the child anyway, even if it is just a sandwich!

[Pronkertjie]

Originally posted by dudette
I think I come from a background where we did eat all our food or we went hungry - we weren't given the luxury of being able to pick and choose what we liked or not. I'm sure my parents did choose meals with us in mind, but we did have to eat what was given to us.
I think it is bad manners to leave your food that your host/hostess has specially spent time and effort to prepare for you, and so would like to teach my children consideration for other people's feelings.
But saying that, I think you are right - a polite "No, thank you" is sufficient for children, who are notoriously fussy! A good hostess would have planned for that and have an alternative for the child anyway, even if it is just a sandwich!

I think that it is the best to teach children to be considerate to others and eat the food. You know your child too.... if he is naughty or really dislike something. Often a mealtime is spoilt because the parents only train their kids when they have guests or someone else' guest. Guess it is one of those things that is a long process.

[Jillibeans]

We were always taught aswell to eat what was given to us, my parents also made allowances at home for our likes and dislikes but when visiting we had to eat what was given to us. When my girls were younger I would allow them to say no thank you but now that they are older they have to eat what is put in front of them and they cope ok (but they still try getting out of eating the food if they can by saying they are not hungry, but it doesn't always work and they at least have a little), makes them happy to eat at home :haha:

[Venus]

I agree with what most people have already said, a polite "no, thank you" would certainly be okay in my book.

I remember a few Christmasses ago, my dad & stepmom had a massive dinner with all my new stepfamily. As a starter, they served pea soup. It was a bright khaki green & I'll never forget the one poor child's face (she was about 6) when this bowl was placed in front of her. She went pale! Then I felt so sorry for her when her mother ordered her to eat it. Luckily, I was sitting next to my dad & whispered her dilema to him & he very jovially shouted that kids didn't need to eat the soup, if they thought it was yucky! She beamed at him as if he was a hero!