Please help! Bladder and Speech! Worried Mum!

[nessduck]

Originally posted by Poppet
Hello Everyone.....

Long time no speak!

Right, straight into I think...... I have been at my wits end and was wondering if anyone could help me.

My son, almost 4, has a problem with his bladder control and is starting to develop speech problems too.

He's been toilet trained for a while now, and it's been going really well, however a few months ago he started wetting his trousers at his childminders house. He never does it at home on the weekends, or when we go out, or when he's at Playgroup, or when we go travelling.....

I took him to the doctor and they took a sample of his urine and tested it and there is nothing wrong, no infections. The doc suggested as it's homed in on one place that it's an anxiety thing.

I've tried everything I can think of, talking nicely about it to him and asking him where does he need to go when he needs to wee, he answers 'the toilet mum'. I've tried confiscating some of his favourite toys and if he's comes home with dry pants then he gets it back, bribery and corruption, everything you can imagine I've tried it. It doesn't seem to make a difference.

Thankfully the childminder has given me notice to end our contract, and I'm hoping that when we are on holiday that I can make amends and rectify any damage that has been done, I just would like to know how I can try and rectify it now while he's still at the childminder that makes him anxious?

I've even asked the Childminder to not mention it infront of him when I pick him up, as I feel that she's aggrevating the situation by bluntly telling me where he did it and how he did it. I feel like I'm a bad mum when she goes on about it..... I so want to tell her to go ......(censored), then I think I can't say anything to her as she's got my son for the day and who knows what she says to him or what she does with him.... So I hold my tongue and say nothing.... Smile sweetly and leave feeling as guilty as anything!

Another concern that I have is that he's started a stammer on most of his words when starting his sentences, he'll start with I, I, I, I or When, when, when, when, at first I thought it was because he gets excited when he wants to tell me something, the only thing is it's getting worse as time goes by.....

Over a weekend it'll die down and he doesn't do it as much, when the week starts it gets worse, and by Friday he's a nervous wreck......

I would really appreciate all your experiences and feedback......

oh poppet, i can really empathise!! though i am no expert, only a mom, it sounds like the little one is really anxious and nervous at the childminders. does he resist when you drop him off??? i would say just shower him with lots of love, don't refer to the accidents, and he's sure to be dry again soon. maybe the woman makes him really nervous when he has accidents, and this has made the situation worse, with his nerves getting the better of him.... vicious circle, i know. hang in there, you are doing a great job. oh yes, ask the childminder not to reprimand him when he has an accident... i have heard that actually punishing accidents can make things worse with them getting more and more nervous and resulting in more accidents.... just a thought.