16-11-2005, 01:32 AM
I was visiting S.A. during Aug/Sept for the first time in 15 yrs and met a windowdresser at the Waterfront. She told me of her sister living in Norway and gave me her cellphone nr. Made contact with Penelope who introduced me to GlobalBuzz SAffers. It really changes ones' outlook on life immediately, because one is not "alone" anymore. (Just have to get the hang of using this site correctly 'cause I'm really making a fool of myself. Anyway...)
I have never been someone hanging onto my mothers' apron, and swopped the countryside for the city a.s.a. schooldays were over. Met my Norw. husband in Jo'burg and we moved to Norway after 5 yrs. That was 1986.
Then the cycle began: The first 7 yrs I was very low down and the only thing that saved me was my childhood faith. The first month it rained non- stop and it was pitch dark most of the day. Couldn't speak the language, the culture was strange, people only smiled and dared to laugh during summer and everybody wanted to tell me how bad the "whites" were and what we did wrong. And staring at my hair, then finally daring to ask why my hair was so straight... and not "kroesies".
The cycle continued with a more familiarity: I could understand what was said, I learned about "the system" and how it works and I could ride on that wave for a few years. It was going upwards as I was still learning though...
I was involved with the South African Society based in Oslo and became very good friends with the Vice-Consulate (excuse spelling, confusing 3 languages) who moved to Namibia later with a Norwegain wife.
By this time my children were getting to school age and they joined the local International School which changed my mental state for the better. There the mums joined a Friday Bible Study Group at M's house and for many years we experienced close relationships. M and I used to get upset, because these mothers/singles also, could be divided into 3 groups: the ones married to Norwegains (the ones that are stuck), the ones living here permanently, but both are foreigners and last, the ones that are here on contract and usually moved on after a coupla' yrs. Whenever one of the last group moved, M and I would get this insecure/unsettling mood because it reminded us of our "stuck" situ. But it usually faded quickly and life turned to normality.
Then I got myself an education here, found my own self again and stopped worrying what others think of me (E.G. in-laws) and thought: they can take it or leave it. I am who I am and I'm pretty normal, so if anyone should take stock, it's THEM.
Now I have ridden the wave of "knowing it all" for quite a few yrs. So well, I can move back to SA and get a job at the Scandinavian Embassy, he-he. My confidence is top, I feel secure about the future because of proper education. And I spell better than most Norwegians (not english,anymore). I have outgrown my hang-ups about THE OTHERS. I feel free and have many good norwegian and "foreign" friends. I know of a few S.Acans and funnily enough most of them struggle with hang-ups which is a bit embarrassing... (what's wrong with us...?) Not penelope, oh no, not penelope. Boy, is she nice. Good medicine, she is.
Now that I'm at the crest of the wave and have been for quite a while, I am becoming restless. I made it here ( and it was tough - understatement) but now I'm bored. I want to live, not just exsist. That's the difference between Norway and South Africa. No matter the chaos down there, one is awake and alive amid dangers and worries. Here nothing happens. But I do appreciate the silence in this country after my return from SA. And the safety. But, the grass is always greener....?
I will definitely feel more at home a while longer now that I have been introduced to this website. And meeting interesting people from my homeland that I will always love. Still haven't changed passport, but am going to. This last trip to SA made it easier to give up my last evidence of being South African.
Bye, Venus. It was good to read your contribution.
I have never been someone hanging onto my mothers' apron, and swopped the countryside for the city a.s.a. schooldays were over. Met my Norw. husband in Jo'burg and we moved to Norway after 5 yrs. That was 1986.
Then the cycle began: The first 7 yrs I was very low down and the only thing that saved me was my childhood faith. The first month it rained non- stop and it was pitch dark most of the day. Couldn't speak the language, the culture was strange, people only smiled and dared to laugh during summer and everybody wanted to tell me how bad the "whites" were and what we did wrong. And staring at my hair, then finally daring to ask why my hair was so straight... and not "kroesies".
The cycle continued with a more familiarity: I could understand what was said, I learned about "the system" and how it works and I could ride on that wave for a few years. It was going upwards as I was still learning though...
I was involved with the South African Society based in Oslo and became very good friends with the Vice-Consulate (excuse spelling, confusing 3 languages) who moved to Namibia later with a Norwegain wife.
By this time my children were getting to school age and they joined the local International School which changed my mental state for the better. There the mums joined a Friday Bible Study Group at M's house and for many years we experienced close relationships. M and I used to get upset, because these mothers/singles also, could be divided into 3 groups: the ones married to Norwegains (the ones that are stuck), the ones living here permanently, but both are foreigners and last, the ones that are here on contract and usually moved on after a coupla' yrs. Whenever one of the last group moved, M and I would get this insecure/unsettling mood because it reminded us of our "stuck" situ. But it usually faded quickly and life turned to normality.
Then I got myself an education here, found my own self again and stopped worrying what others think of me (E.G. in-laws) and thought: they can take it or leave it. I am who I am and I'm pretty normal, so if anyone should take stock, it's THEM.
Now I have ridden the wave of "knowing it all" for quite a few yrs. So well, I can move back to SA and get a job at the Scandinavian Embassy, he-he. My confidence is top, I feel secure about the future because of proper education. And I spell better than most Norwegians (not english,anymore). I have outgrown my hang-ups about THE OTHERS. I feel free and have many good norwegian and "foreign" friends. I know of a few S.Acans and funnily enough most of them struggle with hang-ups which is a bit embarrassing... (what's wrong with us...?) Not penelope, oh no, not penelope. Boy, is she nice. Good medicine, she is.
Now that I'm at the crest of the wave and have been for quite a while, I am becoming restless. I made it here ( and it was tough - understatement) but now I'm bored. I want to live, not just exsist. That's the difference between Norway and South Africa. No matter the chaos down there, one is awake and alive amid dangers and worries. Here nothing happens. But I do appreciate the silence in this country after my return from SA. And the safety. But, the grass is always greener....?
I will definitely feel more at home a while longer now that I have been introduced to this website. And meeting interesting people from my homeland that I will always love. Still haven't changed passport, but am going to. This last trip to SA made it easier to give up my last evidence of being South African.
Bye, Venus. It was good to read your contribution.