Defeat of the Tongue

[Sue Johnson]

The UpWords Weekly Email Devotional
MaxLucado.com/newsletter/
9/15/04
_________________________
DEFEAT OF THE TONGUE ----
by Max Lucado

Insensitivity makes a wound that heals slowly. If someone hurts your
feelings intentionally you know how to react. You know the source of
the pain. But if someone accidentally bruises your soul, itÂ’s difficult
to know how to respond.

Someone at work criticizes the new boss who also happens to be your
dear friend. “Oh, I’m sorry—I forgot the two of you were so close.”

A joke is told at a party about overweight people. YouÂ’re overweight.
You hear the joke. You smile politely while your heart sinks.

What was intended to be a reprimand for a decision or action becomes a
personal attack. “You have a history of poor decisions, John.”

Someone chooses to wash your dirty laundry in public. “Sue, is it true
that you and Jim are separated?”

Insensitive comments. Thoughts that should have remained thoughts.
Feelings which had no business being expressed. Opinions carelessly
tossed like a grenade into a crowd. And if you were to tell the one who
threw these thoughtless darts about the pain they caused, his response
would be “Oh, but I had no intention…I didn’t realize you were so
sensitive!” or “I forgot you were here.”

Listed under the title of subterfuge is the poison of insensitivity.
ItÂ’s called subterfuge because itÂ’s so subtle. Just a slip of the
tongue. Just a blank of memory. No one is at fault. No harm done.

Perhaps. And, perhaps not. For as the innocent attackers go on their
way excusing themselves for things done without hurtful intention, a
wounded soul is left in the dust, utterly confused. “If no one intended
to hurt me, then why do I hurt so badly?”

GodÂ’s Word has strong medicine for those who carelessly wag their
tongues.

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.
It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on
fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6)

He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.
(Proverbs 21:23)

He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will
come to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3)

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is
wise. (Proverbs 10:19)

The message is clear: He who dares to call himself GodÂ’s ambassador is
not afforded the luxury of idle words. Excuses such as “I didn’t know
you were here” or “I didn’t realize this was so touchy” are shallow
when they come from those who claim to be followers and imitators of
the Great Physician. We have an added responsibility to guard our
tongues.

These practical steps will purge careless words from your talk.

1. Never tell jokes that slander.

2. Never criticize in public unless you: have already expressed your
disappointment with the other person in private, have already taken
someone with you to discuss the grievance with the person, and are
absolutely convinced that public reprimand is necessary and will be
helpful.

3. Never say anything about anyone in their absence that you wouldnÂ’t
say in their presence. Insensitive slurs may be accidental, but they
are not excusable.
_____________________________
from God Came Near

[oe-la-la]

Thanks Sue this is so true

[Pronkertjie]

I woke up on Mondaymorning with the thought "It is better to be kind than to be right". Oh dear sometimes I so badly want to be right and not kind :haha:

And reading this bit "Oh, but I had no intention... I didn't realize you were so sensitive!" or "I forgot you were here"...... is something I do so easily...

Integrity check here.... Rita, think before you carelessly toss that grenade into a crowd.

:lovef:

[oe-la-la]

Originally posted by Pronkertjie
I woke up on Mondaymorning with the thought "It is better to be kind than to be right". Oh dear sometimes I so badly want to be right and not kind :haha:

And reading this bit "Oh, but I had no intention... I didn't realize you were so sensitive!" or "I forgot you were here"...... is something I do so easily...

Integrity check here.... Rita, think before you carelessly toss that grenade into a crowd.

:lovef:

We are only human therefor it is nice to read things like this to guide us onto the right path again

[Joan]

Originally posted by oe-la-la
We are only human therefor it is nice to read things like this to guide us onto the right path again

How very true


Thanks Sue for posting this, I often have to bite my tongue, sometimes literally, as I am the responsible person in the pharmacy and if any mistakes come back, I am the one to be blamed, no matter who made the mistake. It is at times like that when I feel like "tossing the grenade".... it will serve no purpose in the end..

[Oom Rob]

Thanks for posting this Sue, because the words are so right - I have never been one to "hold back" and if something had to be said, I was always the one to say it. Yes I admit that I regret now many of the things I have said, but at the time never gave it a secind thought. However it can help at times without one realising it. Last year and through our Old Boys Association, I met up with the father of one of our members. During the conversation he thanked me for a bollicking I gave him way back in 1967 when I was a Traffic Officer. I could not remember the incident, but it would appear that he was driving a Mini and showing off to the girls on a Saturday morning and just causing general annoyance to other drivers (his words, not mine) - apparently I pulled him over, told him to get out of the car and gave him the biggest tongue lashing he had ever had. At the time he said he took umbrage to what I had said, but a few months later a friend of his was killed driving far to fast in Durban. He said my words suddenly hit home - so there are times it can work, not often though.