Smacking

[dudette]

I was horrified two days ago when we tuned into SkyNews to hear about the Smacking vote at the House of Lords yesterday. They had a re-enaction of an adult moving forward to belt a 7-10 year old girl in the face, to illustrate smacking!

It made me wonder what others think what smacking entails? Do you see it as encompassing smacking a child in the face? Do you think it still permissable to smack a child over 7 years old? What about using a wooden spoon(or similar) rather than your bare hand?
And finally, do you think smacking should be banned outright, or should parents be allowed to decide?

[Icecub]

Originally posted by dudette
I was horrified two days ago when we tuned into SkyNews to hear about the Smacking vote at the House of Lords yesterday. They had a re-enaction of an adult moving forward to belt a 7-10 year old girl in the face, to illustrate smacking!

It made me wonder what others think what smacking entails? Do you see it as encompassing smacking a child in the face? Do you think it still permissable to smack a child over 7 years old? What about using a wooden spoon(or similar) rather than your bare hand?
And finally, do you think smacking should be banned outright, or should parents be allowed to decide?

U know dudette, i was thinking about this and wondering if these so called righteous ppl have ever smacked their kids and how do they discipline their kids??

i rarely give my son a smack on the backside , but i normally smack my son on his hand - we have to be careful of my son's condition as he fractures so easily - so we use caution. i have threatened with a wooden sppon but never used it -

my thinking on this is do they really think we smack our kids to bad that we abuse them to make this a vote?? if they do think this then they seriously need a rethink - granted there are ppl who over step the mark, but at a very small percentage of the populace do that....

the parents should decide - who brings up a child to learn right and wrong - the government se voet!!! i think when a child knows right from wrong - a good talking to should be given and not smacks all the time.

[Venus]

Whilst I'm very against smacking/hitting a child so as to do damage or cause bruising, I really think that sometimes a small child (one too young yet to understand lengthy explanations) needs a light smack on the bum when they've seriously stepped out of line, like biting, or to prevent them doing something that is potentially life threatening. For example, if my son slips through the stairgate & climbs the stairs on his own, he gets a smack. He knows he's not allowed on the stairs yet without me but he's too young yet to realise that if he falls down them, he could severly injure or kill himself. For now, the threat of a smacked bum is actually saving him from harm.

[Icecub]

Originally posted by Venus
Whilst I'm very against smacking/hitting a child so as to do damage or cause bruising, I really think that sometimes a small child (one too young yet to understand lengthy explanations) needs a [b]light smack on the bum when they've seriously stepped out of line, like biting, or to prevent them doing something that is potentially life threatening. For example, if my son slips through the stairgate & climbs the stairs on his own, he gets a smack. He knows he's not allowed on the stairs yet without me but he's too young yet to realise that if he falls down them, he could severly injure or kill himself. For now, the threat of a smacked bum is actually saving him from harm. [/B]

yes i totally agree.......a light smack - :thumbs: :thumbs:

[Jemlet]

This is a complicated one because much as I hate smacking, as I would have liked to have thought that we as a civilised society could move beyond smacking, the so called "experts" haven't given a method of punishment that is as effective and over and done with as quickly. The thought of a law against everything except the lightest of smacks just adds to the granny nation and losing individual control isn't the solution either. Who would define light? I can just imagine neighbours etc. crying foul play if my husband gave our kids a smack as they would just assume because of his stature that the smack was not "light".

I have heard the arguements for and against using an implement such as a wooden spoon for adminstering a smack, but I can understand how much easier it would be for a potential abuser to lose it when using a wooden spoon as they potentially would not know how hard they are hitting. A hiding can become a beating too easily imho if an implement is used. (Runs for cover as she waits for the attack )

[Icecub]

Originally posted by Jemlet
This is a complicated one because much as I hate smacking, as I would have liked to have thought that we as a civilised society could move beyond smacking, the so called "experts" haven't given a method of punishment that is as effective and over and done with as quickly. The thought of a law against everything except the lightest of smacks just adds to the granny nation and losing individual control isn't the solution either. Who would define light? I can just imagine neighbours etc. crying foul play if my husband gave our kids a smack as they would just assume because of his stature that the smack was not "light".

I have heard the arguements for and against using an implement such as a wooden spoon for adminstering a smack, but I can understand how much easier it would be for a potential abuser to lose it when using a wooden spoon as they potentially would not know how hard they are hitting. A hiding can become a beating too easily imho if an implement is used. (Runs for cover as she waits for the attack )

Jem, u need not run for cover, so many times my husband has been wrestling with me and underestimates his strength and i end up with bruises....what still him using an implement on our son, can u imagine the naighbours crying foul as well.....it is hard to define - i was thinking exactly what you posted - some men are big and the strength in their smacking may seem light to them but will leave a mark on the child....difficult dilemma ...

although i might add we have yet to have left a mark on our child with a smack....

[Venus]

Originally posted by Jemlet
This is a complicated one because much as I hate smacking, as I would have liked to have thought that we as a civilised society could move beyond smacking, the so called "experts" haven't given a method of punishment that is as effective and over and done with as quickly. The thought of a law against everything except the lightest of smacks just adds to the granny nation and losing individual control isn't the solution either. Who would define light? I can just imagine neighbours etc. crying foul play if my husband gave our kids a smack as they would just assume because of his stature that the smack was not "light".

I have heard the arguements for and against using an implement such as a wooden spoon for adminstering a smack, but I can understand how much easier it would be for a potential abuser to lose it when using a wooden spoon as they potentially would not know how hard they are hitting. A hiding can become a beating too easily imho if an implement is used. (Runs for cover as she waits for the attack )

I agree with you, Jem. I try very hard to use alternative punishments eg. time out but sometimes a smack is what works best. I never use an implement, only my hand & my son's bum is very well protected by a nappy. The trouble is that I feel horrible whenever I've felt the need to smack him & usually end up going into the bathroom for a good cry. I really don't like having to resort to physical punishment. If someone smacked me, even lightly, I'd never want anything to do with them again.

[Jangar]

Two brothers,

Mainly same parent's, the eldest one's biological father left when he was but a toddler and the new (real) one stepped in soon after...

This was in the late 60's / early 70's and being the "flower power" era the newly wed couple decided never to use 'violence' on 'their' child...

A three or was it five year old took advantage of this and bought a pocket knife... Needless to say this was soon discovered and the first and only hiding ever may have happened...

A few years later a second son is born and was never punished physically (neither was the first born) till they went to school in SA...

The eldest rebelled to the extent that he was punished for rebelling as he couldn't see the need to physically hurt someone as punishment for minor things...

As for the youngest, I am sure that they didn't hurt him physically, but emotionally ????

Today the rebel has a decent job, a decent education, the 'kid' has failed to get a recognisable education and is working as a labourer...

So where does that leave the system ???

[dudette]

Here are my thoughts on the issue;

When I had my first child, almost 10 years ago now, I know I was much more prone to smacking than I am now with my third one, and I find they are just as equally well-behaved. (the baby is now almost 15 months and I haven't smacked her yet)
I have learned alternative methods to smacking her to get desired results just as well such as distracting her from a tantrum or undesirable behaviour. Praising her for a job well done, or fordesirable behaviour works well too.
There is the thought that the mother's hand should be for giving love and not for giving smacks, so the theory is that smacking with a wooden spoon or something like it would not be as psycologically damaging, as it is the inanimate object giving the smack, and not the hand. - In my experience, the end result is still the same, the child still has a sore bottom and the child is just as sorry for its behaviour.
I found I disliked it because I could not be sure that I was smacking too hard with the spoon, whereas with your hand you can feel when you're going too far or not. I still do have one called "Moeggepraat" which we threaten the kids with, but hasn't been used in years!

I think that parents should be allowed the right to choose for themselves what is the best method to discipline their children as each parent knows their child best. And if politicians want to criminalise parents who do choose to smack their children, they should then put more money and effort into educating parents as to more acceptable methods of behaviour management. Parenting is not easy, and most of what we do with our kids is a follow-on from what we've learned from our own upbringing, be it right or not.

[Icecub]

Originally posted by dudette
I still do have one called "Moeggepraat" which we threaten the kids with, but hasn't been used in years!

.

sorry hijack - i love that name ...:haha: :haha: