Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one (reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs).

After every flight, Qantas (Australia's major airline) pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

A local authority is believed to be the first in England to ban employees from taking cigarette breaks.

Workers at West Lancashire District Council will be stopped from taking "fag breaks" during the working day.

The council is thought to be the first local authority in England to take such action.

The proposal was approved at a meeting of the authority's Cabinet committee.

Staff will be given help to give up but could face the sack if they do not comply with the new regulations, to be enforced from March next year.

Leader of the council, Cllr Geoff Roberts, said the proposal had been approved unanimously and should be rubber-stamped by the full council next month.

"We are going to do all we can to help them cope with this," he said.

"The whole issue is based upon the care and concern for our staff."

The authority will put on smoking cessation classes and provide counselling for workers to help them give up the weed.

Smokers who want to light up on their lunch breaks must also do so away from council buildings.

MORE ON SMOKING
The ban was criticised by smokers' rights group Forest.

"We think it's a complete overreaction by West Lancs Council," a spokesman said.

"If smokers were taking dozens of breaks during the day then it would be understandable, but most smokers take very few breaks and it helps them get through the day.

"A lot of the non-smokers who complain about smokers taking cigarette breaks are the same people who play computer games, email their friends and have endless cups of coffee.

"The fact is, we all need these little breaks to get us through the day and smokers have cigarettes on theirs."

The wife and girlfriend of an unemployed father of 15 who sparked a national outcry when he complained about the size of his council house are both pregnant, according to reports.

Mick Philpott, of Derby, claimed Britain was "going down the pan'' after his local council said it could not provide him with a bigger home for his huge clan.

Now it has emerged that the 49-year-old is about to become a father to children numbers 16 and 17.

Wife Mairead and girlfriend Lisa Willis are both expecting, he told the Derby Evening Telegraph.

It reports he vowed to have a vasectomy, saying that he was "annoyed with himself".

"It's just one of those things that they've both fallen pregnant,'' he said.

Mr Philpott refused to comment on the report at his Victory Road home.

He lives at the property with his 25-year-old wife, who is the mother of their five children, aged one to seven.

Sharing their home is his 22-year-old girlfriend and their three young children.

Miss Willis also has another child, aged six, from a previous relationship, who lives at the house.

And Mr Philpott is father to another seven offspring from three previous relationships.

The government will press ahead with plans to introduce trial road-pricing schemes across England, in an effort to cut congestion.
The draft Road Transport Bill gives councils more freedom to bring in their own schemes in busy areas and will look at the scope for a national road toll.

It also gives councils a bigger say in improving local bus services.

Ministers predict that, if no action is taken, congestion could rise 25% by 2015 - mostly in big towns and cities.

They intend to tackle the problem through road tolls, building or widening roads where necessary, and better management of existing roads.

Nine areas have been earmarked for road pricing trials by the end of 2009; Norfolk, the East Midlands, part of the Thames Valley including Reading, Cambridgeshire, Durham, Greater Manchester, Shrewsbury and Shropshire, Tyne and Wear, and the West Midlands.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5249538.stm

State pension age will rise from 65 to 66 between 2024 and 2026
Rises from 66 to 67 between 2034 and 2036
Rises from 67 to 68 between 2044 and 2046

A bill to overhaul the UK state pension system has been included in the Queen's Speech.
The state pension age will rise from 65 to 68 by 2046, if the bill passes.

In return for a later pension age, the link between the state pension and average earnings is to be restored during the next parliament.

In addition, it should take fewer years of National Insurance Contributions to earn a full state pension, a move aimed at helping women.

The government said it wanted an: "Enduring pension settlement built on a consensus" and a "state system more generous and more widely available and provide a solid foundation on which to save for retirement."


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6147610.stm

First Direct to end free banking

First Direct says it is costly to maintain some accounts
First Direct is set to charge its customers for running a current account unless they pay in or keep a balance of at least £1,500 a month.
It is proposing to charge people who only have a current account a £10 monthly fee, potentially affecting up to 195,000 customers.

The fee will be waived if customers open a savings account or buy products such as home insurance or loans.

The bank said the move was aimed at dormant or rarely used accounts.

About 40,000 of its basic accounts are not used at all while a further 250,000 accounts see fewer than 10 transactions a month.

The new charging structure, part of an overhaul of fees for accounts and overdrafts, will come into effect in February.

First Direct, the UK telephone and internet banking arm of HSBC, will write to all its 1.3 million customers to let them know how they can avoid the £10 charge.

The fee will apply to those paying less than £1,500 into their account each month or those who have an average monthly balance below £1,500.

"I want to focus our efforts on our most important customers: those who use us as their main bank or who have a number of products with us," said Chris Pilling, First Direct's chief executive.

"Many of our customers do not enjoy the full benefits as they use us for a secondary account."

First Direct said it believed 85% of its customers would be unaffected by the charges.

"Some customers are more important than others because those customers who have the deepest relationship with us, benefit from the offer we have got," Mr Pilling said.
Mark Gander of the campaigning website Consumer Action Group said First Direct's move was the first step towards the end of free banking in the UK.

"This is an example of banks putting their toe in the water of ending free banking," he told the BBC.

"First Direct is a small bank and maybe it's a sacrificial lamb to put out there to see what's going to happen."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/6148776.stm

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sounds like they deserve some reward for the harsh conditions they have to endure
if they're taking gold from unused shafts I don't know what the problem is.