ON THE pitch Paul Gascoigne was the man who could do anything with a football at his feet.

Off it, he became the man who could do nothing to resolve his troubles. Now Gascoigne has revealed the extent of the mental health problems that destroyed his career and wrecked his private life.

Using a “body map” — a counselling technique whereby patients annotate a drawing to show self-inflicted damage to the body — Gascoigne details afflictions such as bulimia, panic attacks, drug addictions and the consumption of up to four bottles of whisky a day.

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Good morning, everyone! I'm recovering from another bout of 'flu. I've been without a voice for 2 days. I think it must the 4th dose since I arrived in Denmark 5 months ago. ickly: A week to go before my son & I visit my family on Mud Isle. :cheer:

I hope you all have a great weekend & enjoy whatever it is that you'll be doing.

After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to
summer and Braai/BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory
on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type
of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of
danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are
put into motion:

Routine...
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man
who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with
the situation.

Important again:

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine.....
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, and
sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing
some women.

> >When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly
>father
> >died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he
>went
> >to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever
>seen.
> >Her natural beauty took his breath away.
> >
> >"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her:
>"but
> >in just a month or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million
>dollars!"
> >
> >Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days
>later,
> >she became his stepmother.
> >
> >Women are so much smarter than men........

> Two guys are pushing their shopping trolleys around a store when they
> collide.
>
> The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for
my
> wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going".
>
> The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
> wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".
>
> The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your
wife
> look like"?
>
> The second guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair,
blue
> eyes, big breasts and is wearing short shorts and a tank top. What does
> your wife look like"?
>
> The first guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

Koos and Japie from BOKSBURG were in Pretoria for the Currie Cup Final when they suddenly spotted this sign on a shop window:
Suits R20--00 each
Shirts R10--00 each (Two-Tone only)
Trousers R8--00 per pair

Koos says to his pal. "Hey Japie, check at that! Bliksem, we could buy a whole load of that clothes... then when we get back we could resell them and make us a moerse fortune!"

"Now listen boet, when we go into the shop you keep your big mouth shut, hey! Just you let me do all the talking plus wheeling and dealing stuff,
'because if they hear your BOKSBURG accent, they might try to rip us off. I'll be giving them my best PRETORIA accent so they think we're locals."

They go in and Koos says, "Excuse me sir, I'll take 50 of your finest suits at R20 each, plus 100 shirts at R10 each, and 50 pairs of your trousers at just R8 each. I will be paying in cash, and taking those items with me today, if you don't mind."
The owner of the shop interrupts, "You guys is from BOKSBURG, isn't you?"
"Err....ja" says Koos, "how come you know?"

The owner says, "This are a dry-cleaners !

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday and hope that you have a wonderful day.

:celeb: :bday3: :celeb:

My money is on Spain even though I think Greece (or perhaps Sweden) will take it.

Last I heard was the odds on Spain winning were 150 to 1 but considering the way Las Ketchup surprised / shocked the world with their dreadful song it wouldn't surprise me if they won :haha:

Is going and I love it ... :beg:

Anybody feels the opposite ? No need for a strong one - best economy in 25 years ... of wat sê ek boffins ? :babyroll:

Fri 1635 SA time :

R 6.52249 to the $
R 8.30382 to the euro
R 12.2331 to the pound

Her family lived in Roodepoort and she finished off her schooling in KHS in about 1996. If anybody knows of her it would be great to make contact again with this bubbly personality.