Dubai - The International Cricket Council says South African players were subjected to racial abuse during their tour of Australia and it did not come only from South African expatriates.

http://www.news24.com/News24/Sport/Crick...08,00.html
More here

http://www.news24.com/News24/Sport/Crick...64,00.html

Johannesburg - South Africans were the eighth most optimistic people in the world and more than 80% believed in a happy future for all in the country, environmental minister Marthinus van Schalkwyk said on Tuesday.

http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Afric...30,00.html

Carlsberg Export, Lego, bacon, butter, pastries, the Little Mermaid and the Danish heroism in helping the Jews during World War II were about the only things I knew about Denmark before I agreed to live there with my Danish fiancé (now my husband). My husband was kind enough to buy me a copy of Xenophobe’s Guide To The Danes (The Globe Pequot Press) and this little book has become my constant reference manual while I try to adjust to the new culture I’ve found myself living in.

Denmark is made up of 406 islands, including Bornholm in the Baltic Sea. Greenland and the Faroe Islands in the Atlantic are part of the Kingdom of Denmark but have both been granted home rule. Denmark has a population of about 5,432,335 and life expectancy is between 75 to 80 years (source: http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications...ok/geos/da.html).

We live on the peninsula connected to Germany, called Jutland. The area we live in is called Djursland . We are surrounded by wind turbines, beautiful rolling countryside and forests and are only a short drive away from countless beaches.

ItÂ’s very hard to imagine that the cultured, quietly spoken and dignified people I see walking or cycling around town or sitting in coffee houses were once helmeted warriors intent on pillaging and colonising Britain. This is especially hard to imagine since IÂ’ve learnt of the DaneÂ’s need for hygge, a word without a direct English translation but meaning something akin to cosy or snug or ambience or intimacy. The lighting in Danish homes is soft and dim and is supplemented with the use of candles and real fireplaces. In fact, the use of candles in creating hygge extends way beyond the home and into shops and even our local municipal offices. As a newby to Denmark, I think that huggelig best describes the Danish culture.

However, hugge ends when the Danes go shopping! Then it is push and shove and everyone for him/herself. Neat orderly queues and waiting oneÂ’s turn is obviously a British phenomenon and a totally foreign concept to the Danes. After spending five years in polite Britain, this rudeness takes quite some getting used to. In fact, if I accidentally bump into someone and say undskylde, I get some very strange looks!

One of the travel guides I read before coming to Denmark had an entire chapter dedicated to food. Food and drink play a big role in the Danes’ culture. The travel guide warned that it is a good idea to pace oneself whilst enjoying a meal as more is sure to follow. I have since learned that this is very wise advice. The smørrebrød is standard fare at lunch (or brunch or supper in our case). This is an open sandwich liberally topped with all sorts of delicious concoctions. Herring, in a variety of different marinades, is often the “starter” and usually served on a very rough rye bread. Throughout the meal, there will be the need to drink a skål (cheers). At the start of a meal, it is usually a skål with a Danish bitter, a drink made with numerous bitter herbs & spices (think the yuckiest cough mixture you’ve ever tasted). Bitter is even drunk with breakfast!

In South Africa I was spoilt when going grocery shopping by having a packer pack my groceries into bags. In Denmark, there are no packers and no free shopping bags. This means that you need to remember to either take a trolley, even if you only need a bit more than an arm-full of groceries, or remember to take your own bags. I also only discovered that money is rounded up to the next Krone when I foolishly stood waiting for my change. These are things that should be put into some sort of manual for newbies to a country.

As Britain gets tough with new anti-smoking laws, it is quite strange to be in a country where smoking is still so socially accepted. The Danes still smoke comfortably in most public places. One of our local supermarkets has baskets of cigarettes for sale at the cash tills, as you would see chocolates or razor blades on sale in Britain or South Africa. Cigarettes are also relatively cheap compared with prices in Britain.

At the moment I am unable to offer any views on learning Danish or working in Denmark. I am in the limbo state of waiting for my Residence Permit to be granted. EU nationals have the right to remain in Denmark for three months. However, anyone wishing to reside, work or study and remain in Denmark for longer needs to apply for a Residence Permit or Certificate through The Danish Immigration Service. Once this has been granted I will be expected to attend Danish School.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in
the Flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket
3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix these problems, to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the
command:C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which
should automatically install Guilt 3.0.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring
Loudly. CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother -in-law.
This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.In
summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support






Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,
which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only
solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned
off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
other applications, such as LadsNig htOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and
Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and
left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for
several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and
Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these
two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my
hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this
product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0
tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled
with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005. Shortly after this upgrade,
however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to
run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's
memory and could not be deleted.

They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter,
and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These
latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what
the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs
updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments
and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other
week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible
hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw,
which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install
Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has
alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it
tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Signed,

Desperate

Man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, Drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,

Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to attack us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.



SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down .

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,


I'll pray for you!

This had been raised as an issue even before the match, with the groundsman insisting that he would prepare the pitch he wanted, and not the one the SA team wanted. The SA team were clearly dissaponted, as surely we would want to try and favour the home team.

:am: Morning all,

Hope you all will have a nice Tuesday - cannot wait for my bed :o

A huge Happy Birthday to that gherkin-loving saffer across the puddle.

Hope you have a great day and many more in the year ahead.

All the very best
G
x

If you believe prayer works. This situation is repulsive, whatever religion (or not) that the chap may have chosen.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/4823874.stm

Does the muslim world not have a book on "How to Make Friends and Influence People"?