04-06-2007, 03:33 PM
Apologies for my silence. I think I understand your questions, where they come from, and the conclusions you've come to. I've certainly had some of the same questions about God's justice, love, mercy, etc - all to do with His character, because I also lost all my loved ones in what felt like one 'fell swoop'. Then as you know I got the cancer, and you were so supportive, and I've emerged stronger in my spirit because I believe God walked every step of it with me and there was a huge support system of friends who loved me through it all.
I think at times like this we don't want or need the intellectual arguments, debates etc that go on around us.. I believe we're looking for answers for the heart and its pain and confusion. I don't need to defend God or prove that He's there, it's enough (for me) that I believe in Him and have found Him to be absolutely true, loving, kind and just - all in spite of what's going on in my world. After all, I don't believe he's to blame for my loved ones dying or my cancer. I'm reading a good and easy-to-read book at the moment, called "God on Mute - engaging the silence of unanswered prayer" by Pete Greig, whose suffering has been intense. He says ' God is good and faithful, but life can really be a b...(female dog), can't it?' Yes. My only answer for you is Try God. Whether you believe in Him or not, I believe He loves you intensely and unconditionally and is not offended by your conclusions or your questions.
I'm the last person to want to judge you, my friend, I've been judged and misjudged too and it's a violation of the self that wounds deeply. So, so sorry you've been hurt by people claiming to be Christians - I cringe when I hear stories like yours. May you find the peace you're looking for - don't give up till it's really there and it's genuine!
I think at times like this we don't want or need the intellectual arguments, debates etc that go on around us.. I believe we're looking for answers for the heart and its pain and confusion. I don't need to defend God or prove that He's there, it's enough (for me) that I believe in Him and have found Him to be absolutely true, loving, kind and just - all in spite of what's going on in my world. After all, I don't believe he's to blame for my loved ones dying or my cancer. I'm reading a good and easy-to-read book at the moment, called "God on Mute - engaging the silence of unanswered prayer" by Pete Greig, whose suffering has been intense. He says ' God is good and faithful, but life can really be a b...(female dog), can't it?' Yes. My only answer for you is Try God. Whether you believe in Him or not, I believe He loves you intensely and unconditionally and is not offended by your conclusions or your questions.
I'm the last person to want to judge you, my friend, I've been judged and misjudged too and it's a violation of the self that wounds deeply. So, so sorry you've been hurt by people claiming to be Christians - I cringe when I hear stories like yours. May you find the peace you're looking for - don't give up till it's really there and it's genuine!