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I have this rule in my house – this is not a democracy I make the decisions until the boys stage a coup de tat.
Still I firmly believe that although I make decisions that may be unpopular it is my role as a parent to make acceptable adults and any decision or however they hate me at the time is acceptable to me if is the right decision long term.
Being a parent is hard with all the opportunities that a child faces in this world – from peer pressure, drugs and all forms of things good and bad – when and how they the children make decisions for themselves is dictated by themselves but as master in charge I can and do override a decision I feel inappropriate – whatever the outcome of how they feel towards me.
So parents when you have a decision to make remember that you have a responsibility towards creating a future for your child and you can and must make those difficult decisions no matter how hard they are – for the sake of the children.
Have you ever had to make a really unpopular decision and backed away because you thought your child will love you less or have you gone with what you knew was right even though it tore you up, remember when your child becomes an adult you suddenly have no recourse to mistakes you made will watching them grow up.
Never say never
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You're so right, ZF. As they get older, sometimes it is more difficult to stick to one's guns, but if one keeps the end result in mind, it should make your resolve easier.
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I agree 100% with you ZF, but bear in mind as children get older, especially in their teens!!!! - they then think they can override your decisions and sometimes they do even if it means been punished, which sometimes they accept and other times they refuse and it doesn't matter what you do they will not accept the punishment. But what you will find is that if the grounding was done (regarding discipline, morals, etc. in order to grow up as a descent adult) when they are young up to about the age 10 they inveriably turn out well adjusted adults. Another thing children learn by example, so parents do the right thing and your children in most cases (you will get the exceptions though) will do the same.
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lol I could not agree more ZF..
Parenting is very hard at times, especially when one has very willfull children...*sigh*
Anyhoo, I am hoping that things will settle down some when the second one comes along in October. But until then its pretty much do or die at our house....
*Doer of healing rituals and keeper of brooms.*
*Water flows, Wind blows, Fire glows, Earth grows, Magic shows.*
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Eish, Amen, I can empathise - I'm knocking heads more and more with my 9 year old lately too. Hopefully its just a stage, and the baby will be a welcome distraction for you all.
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nobody said it was going to be easy!!!! to make the decisions all the time, but I believe that we should just teach them right from wrong and hopefully this should go with them into adulthood ...... yes we all make mistakes along the way but thats life.
Everything happens for a reason, we just dont know why!
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As they grow older it's good to teach them that with freedom comes responsibility.
So as you do cut them more slack, they understand that they must take on more responsibility.
As for "wilful" children, surely that is a good thing. I worry about kids that don't push at the boundaries. This is natural for development.
I'm all for setting boundaries and punishment for overstepping them, but it's also healthy to discuss the why's and wherefore's, this may diffuse the situation and allow you both to move forward amicably!
(I'm not talking 2-year old's here!!)
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Quote:Originally posted by dudette
Eish, Amen, I can empathise - I'm knocking heads more and more with my 9 year old lately too. Hopefully its just a stage, and the baby will be a welcome distraction for you all.
Lol Dudette, knocking heads is really it hey. But you know he's som funny my son. He thinks he can negotiate his way out of anything.....
I have now told him that I do not negotiate with children.. :p meaning he still has to do what he's told when I want thim to do it, and not when its suitable for him to do it...
It seems to work a little, but there is still a looong way..
*Doer of healing rituals and keeper of brooms.*
*Water flows, Wind blows, Fire glows, Earth grows, Magic shows.*
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ZF, you arn't the first and won't be the last. My Dad often says he does not envy us having to raise kids in todays society. Be firm...and make your rules. I recently grounded my 14 year old (going on 40) for a month, cut her computer access and removed her mobile phone priviledges....no exceptions, she didn't like it but therein lies the lesson.
In this world gone crazy, the only discipline your kid is going to get is the discipline enforced at home, sadly it seems we have to over compensate for the lack of it within society as a whole but your kids will thank you for it later.....
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