Just thought I would let all the XP users know of a nifty little program that lets you change the Styles of WinXP..

We all know that WinXP only has three default styles: Silver, Green and Blue....

With StyleXP you can change this, and the overall look of the desktop to any which way you want. You can even make transparency effects so it will look a bit like a Linux desktop.

You can see and read more about StyleXP here:

http://www.tgtsoft.com/prod_sxp.php

And some different types of themes here:

http://www.themexp.org/listings.php?type=vs&view=date

Right ho all of you who will be out running to buy the next version of Windows when it hits the shops. MS have admitted that once more they will be offering a half finished product to you the punters. just so that they actually ahve a new product out to steal your money. This is like Nissan offering a new car with faulty breaks. They dont care coz within the next year they will find a fix for it and in between they just know that the mugs will be so chuffed with the new fur on the dashboard (which hides where they have glued the dashboard together) that they wont mind the car crashing and exploding in flames - after all it will only happen once and is a small price to pay for the lovely purple fur!

How to make money and fleece people

And in another story the UN - which is a useless bunch of onanists has actually done something worthwhile

UN to promote free software

I often do maintenance on my pc, like scan checks, defragmenting etc, but tonight my pc is........ oh so slow. Has this got anything to do with the ISP? Is it perhaps because the server is very busy? It can be so frustrating.

An emperor in the Far East was growing old and knew it was time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or his children, he decided something different.
He called young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you."

The kids were shocked! But the emperor continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today, one very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next emperor!"

One boy named Ling was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the story. She helped him get a pot and planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully.

Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about 3 weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Ling kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks went by. Still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants but Ling didn't have a plant, and he felt like a failure. 6 months went by; still nothing in Ling's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing.

Ling didn't say anything to his friends. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow. A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection.

Ling told his mother that he wasn't going to take an empty pot but his Mother said he must be honest about what happened. Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his Mother was right.

He took his empty pot to the palace. When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other youths. They were beautiful, in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kinds laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said, "Hey nice try."

When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the emperor. "Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!"

All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to bring him to the front. Ling was terrified. "The emperor knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!"

When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name. "My name is Ling," he replied. All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down.

He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd, "Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!" Ling couldn't believe it. Ling couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor?

Then the emperor said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds, which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you.

Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.

But:

If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.
If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.
If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.
If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.
If you plant greed, you will reap loss.
If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.
If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.
If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.

So be careful what you plant now, it will determine what you will reap tomorrow.

The seeds you now scatter will make life worse or better your life or the ones who will come after. Yes, someday, you will enjoy the fruits, or you will pay for the choices you plant today.

:hug: :hug:

Follow these 15 simple tests before you decide to have children. Obviously for some of us it is now too late....

Test 1

Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months remove 10% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for paternity, go to local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3

To discover how the nights will feel...

01) Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing
approximately 4-6kg, with a radio tuned to static (or some other obnoxious
sound) playing loudly.
02) At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
03) Get up at 12am and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
04) Set the alarm for 3am.
05) As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
06) Go to bed at 2.45am.
07) Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
08) Sing songs in the dark until 4 am.
09) Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10) Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Test 4

Dressing small children is not as easy at it seems.

01) Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
02) Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms
hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.


Test 5

Forget the TVR and buy a practical 5-door saloon. And don't think that you can leave it out on the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

01) Buy a chocolate ice-cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
02) Get a coin. Insert it in the cassette player.
03) Take a family size package of chocolate biscuits, mash them into the back seat.
04) Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

There... perfect!

Test 6

Get ready to go out.
01) Wait.
02) Go out the front door.
03) Come in again.
04) Go out.
05) Come back in.
06) Go out again.
07) Walk down the front path/driveway.
08) Walk back up it.
09) Walk down it again.
10) Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11) Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 Questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12) Retrace your steps.
13) Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14) Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8

Go the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your weeks groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9

01) Hollow out a melon.
02) Make a small hole in the side.
03) Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it from side to side
04) Now get a bowl of soggy Cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an aeroplane.
05) Continue until half the Cornflakes are gone.
06) Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it Falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old child.

Test 10
Learn the names of every character from the Fimbles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years.

Test 11

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?

Test 12

Make a recording of Janet Street-Porter shouting "Mummy" repeatedly.

Important: No more than a four second delay between each "Mummy" (occasional
crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continuously tug on your skirt hem/shirt sleeve/elbow while playing the "Mummy" tape made from Test 12 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14

Put on your finest work attire. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting. Now:

01) Take a cup of cream, and put 1 cup lemon juice in it.
02) Stir.
03) Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture.
04) Attempt to clean your shirt with the saturated towel.
05) Do NOT change. You have no time.
06) Go directly to work.


Test 15

Go for a drive, but first...
01) Find one large tomcat and six pit bulls.
02) Borrow a child safety seat and put it in the back seat of your car.
03) Put the pit bulls in the front seat of your car.
04) While holding something fragile or delicate, strap the cat into the child seat.
05) For the really adventurous... Run some errands, remove and replace the cat at each stop.

Got this far...??? You are now ready to have kids!

A letter to my family and friends

To my dearest family & friends
Some things I like to say
But first of all to let you know
That I arrived today.

IÂ’m writing this from Heaven
Where I dwell with God above
Where there are no tears of sadness
There is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
Just because IÂ’m out of sight
Remember that IÂ’m with you
Every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
When my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me,
And he said I welcome you.

Its good to have you back again
You were missed while you were gone
As for you your dearest family
TheyÂ’ll be here later on.

“I need you here so badly
As part of my big plan
ThereÂ’s work that we have to do, to help
Our mortal man”.
Then God gave me a list of things
He wished for me to do
And foremost on that list of mine
Is to watch and care for you.

Someone out there has written a cool worm waiting to infect the users of Windows the world over: Peeping Tom Worm Hits The Internet

Can anyone please recommend a good/cheap online shop for buying CDs? I usually use CD Wow! but they're sold out of the CD I'd wanted to buy my mom for her birthday.

The Mapmakers Wife by Robert Whitaker

Epic romance, Isable Grameson crossed the continent of South America in search of her missing husband, Jean Godin who had arrived from France in 1735 as part of a daring decade long mission to measure the earth. The pair remained separated by the Amazon and tangled international politics for more than 20 yrs. A potent mix of love and science....


Lilla's Feast: A story of love, war and a passion for food by Frances Osborne

Frances Osborne - one of identical twins was born in Colonial China in 1882, and in a life spanning more than 100 yrs - not to mention three husbands - she was witness to some extraordinary events. Osborne's quest to unearth her life story was inspired by a wondrous cookery book that Lilla wrote while she was starving in a Japanese internment camp. A rapturous fusion of personal history and tales of Empire and the far East.

The rare and the beautiful: The lives of the Garman sister by Cressida Connolly

One married scandalous poet Roy Campbell and had an affair with Bloomsbury Vita Sackville, another was the great love of sculptor Jacob Epstein, whose first wife shot her with a pistol, and a third had passionate relationships with Laurie Lee and Lucian Freud. The three sisters, Kathleen, mary and Lorna were muses, lovers and mothers.

The Red Queen by Margaret Drabble

True story of the Red Queen a ten yr old girl plucked from obscurity in 18th-century Korea to wed the country's Crown Prince.

These books are for the more serious reader....:thumbs: might not appeal to all...

I got a fantastic idea for quick and easy pudding...

Toasting waffles
aerosol cream can
berries

Toast the waffles
spray the cream on
Place berries on the cream

What could be nicer and easier?