Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them:"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."

"Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver.

"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.

"Quattro is just ze name of ze automobile" the German says unbelievingly.

"Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 persons."

"You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian Customs officer.

"Quattro meansa four. You have five-a people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law."

The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over. I vant to speak to someone viz more intelligence!"

"Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno

have a good day folks!! :am:

I need to obtain a long version of a south African birth certificate. Can any one tell me what would the quickest way. Thanks

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday.

:bday3:

Just to let u all know that i am still here and just wanna share with all of you my new adventure that i am taking on baord, i am starting my own support group here in wiltshire for parents who has lost their children through suicide, i will officially start on thursday as it goes into the paper, must say that i am a bit nervous but it is something that i want to do to help others and to give to the community.

I am also wanna get involved with children thats suicidel and talk to them to let them know what they leave behind and that it is not the end of the world, hopefully i can save someone out there and help other parents and families to deal with their grieve and lost.

CLASSIC VERSION:



The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.



The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.



Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed.



The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.



THE END.







THE BRITISH VERSION:



The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.



The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.



Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.



So far, so good, eh?



The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.



The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a table laden with food.



The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.



The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."



Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".



In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.



The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.



The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company [funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened with Compulsory purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).



The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost GBP10,000,000.



The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a Gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing operation and terrorise the community.







THE END

How can I possibly be the first??

Morning everyone - pleased to see the sun out today, has put me in such a good mood, let's hope the boss doesn't spoil that. :p

Hope you have a Very Happy Birthday.

:bday:

... is NOT closing down ... I have received an email partition a number of times from people with numerous names on asking me to sign also and forward to as many people as possible.

I went onto their site and this is what the SPCA in SA has to say >> http://www.nspca.co.za/STOP%20PRESS%20:%...LOSING.htm ... Note: The email was sent out some years ago, and it costs 2 employees approximately 4-5 valuable hours every month to set the record straight.